Dawn
by Siavahda
Summary: Sora, Kairi and Riku have returned to Detiny Islands after their adventures, and Sora and Riku have wound up together. But Riku won't tell Sora about the nightmares, and maybe they'll all have to work a little harder for their happy ending. Fluff and dark


**Hey Everyone! So, this is the first part of the _Words Cannot Express_ series, the set on un-related one-shots inspired by pieces of artwork or music. Or both, maybe. :) **

**Summary: Sora, Kairi and Riku have returned to Detiny Islands after their adventures. Sora and Riku wound up together, just as nature intended - but Riku won't tell Sora about the nightmares, and maybe they'll all have to work a little harder for their fairty-tale ending. Darkness, fluff, and this is my favourite one-shot EVA!!!**

* * *

**Dawn**

He wanted this.

_Panting, grasping fingers that curl like the promises of bruises on his hips, almost crushing. _

Even afterwards, lying curled up on his bed, crying and tainted, he couldn't deny to himself that he wanted it with everything in him.

_Breath that's almost too hot, hovering like a whisper on his throat._

It was just…That this _wasn't_ what he'd wanted. He'd wanted…Tender touches. Soft, gentle, warm and loving. He'd wanted to make Riku smile, make him laugh. Make him _happy_.

It had taken them both a while to realise everything had changed. Or maybe it was nothing – Riku hadn't seemed very surprised, when Sora finally couldn't take it any more; when he reached up, tangling his fingers in the starshine-silver hair and gently tugging the pale face down to his own.

He might have grown, but he still wasn't really tall enough to kiss his boyfriend.

_His eyes, fluttering shut too-tight, shivering at the threat of sharp nails stroking down his bare spine, whispering seductively across his skin._

In the months between then and now – between walking back onto Destiny Islands and that first kiss – the edges between them all had become a little more blurred. Kairi wasn't part of the two of them – but they were part of the trio, each of them a human treasure-chest for the shining keys inside them. Glittering keyblades cocooned inside their flesh, heavy with secrets and memories and the false smiles they gave to their parents, their old friends that they could barely remember any more. A sharp-edged reminder that this wasn't who they really were; that they were more than this. More than a blue-and-white uniform, more than the piles of dreary homework, more than a dull, boring, _normal_ life.

_Tensing at the sense of a mouth above his; relaxing as they kissed, melting into it, the hot, wet velvet brushing tenderly over his. A shadow of might-have-been._

So they'd carefully cultivated a reputation of stand-offishness. Kairi had tried, in the beginning, to slip back into her 'real' life – harder than the other two had. Riku hadn't tried at all, wary of the satin-black shadow inside himself, wary of losing control and hurting someone. Sora and Kairi were enough for him

And Sora…Sora had wanted to fit in. He'd always been good with people – he'd been able to make friends over a dozen different worlds, some of them not even human. (Would he ever see them again…?) But the longing for companionship was no longer there.

No, it still was. It had just…Changed. Evolved, like the rest of him. He didn't need _anyone_ any more. It wasn't just a random person he was thrown together with anymore, the closest age-mate fate tossed at him. He was still as bubbly, still laughed as often.

But he had all the friends he needed in Kairi…And Riku.

_Panting, shivering, trembling. How much longer can he stand the waiting…?_

Kairi hadn't minded that the two of them had ended up together. She'd smiled behind her hand, teased them a little, and nothing really changed. If Sora caught her, sometimes, sitting on the pier on her own, swinging her legs and smiling a softer, sadder, more private smile…

Well, she always brushed it off. She always said it was okay, that she understood. She always told Sora that she loved them both like brothers anyway. That everything was all right.

That's what she said in her note, as well. _Don't worry about me, Sora, Riku. I'll be fine. I just need to get out for a while. Everything's all right – I'll be back in a week or so._

And she was. Seven days down to the hour, vanishing her keyblade as they ran to her, panicked despite her written assurances. And she was fine; perfectly okay. Visiting friends she hadn't seen for a while.

"_Riku…" Soft pleading as a wet mouth trails down his throat, and he freezes as he feels the brush of sharp teeth._

So it had all been fine. Kairi was happy again – a new bounce in her step, a new star in her eye. A new pendant to wear under the stark white shirt of her uniform.

Years later, a new ring on her finger.

And Sora had hesitantly breached the concept of a more…_physical_ relationship with his boyfriend.

_Harsh, rough breath in his lover's throat, struggling to keep control. _

Riku had seemed…reluctant. No, that wasn't it – he'd never had a problem kissing Sora. They both loved it; sneaking out of class, out of chores, climbing out of their bedroom windows when the sun went down, to meet in their secret place. Laughing like back when they were little as Sora fell into Riku's stronger arms, instantly feeling safe and comforted. Calm.

At peace.

Later, they realised it must be because of the mixing of their Light and Dark.

Twilight.

Perfect balance.

Sora preferred to call it Dawn as apposed to Twilight; but he knew that, in his heart of hearts, Riku was more brutally honest with himself than Sora could ever be.

"_Riku…?" Sora asks, struggling to stay calm. He knows what his panic will do to Riku, but all the same, the feeling of the shadows around them both beginning to writhe doesn't do much for his confidence._

But the silver-haired boy had agreed, eventually, and Sora still grinned at the thought of how his much-more-mature _boyfriend_ couldn't stand against his patented bubble-gum-fun kisses.

_The other's breathing – rough like sandpaper on stone, like something wild, untameable. Strong fingers bruising as they move down his hips, his thighs, shivering over the venerable skin at the back of his knees. _

And that's where it all went wrong.

No matter how much Kairi cried, how much Sora refused, stubbornly, to believe it – no matter how much Riku fought and screamed and tore at his skin, fighting to carve the taint out of himself, out of his flesh, his _blood_ – no matter how many times Sora had screamed for Kairi when he walked in to find Riku curled up and bleeding on the floor, keyblade shining wetly beside him – no matter how many bruises were branded into Sora's skin, how much blood stained the sheets, how many times Sora's heart had stopped as Riku's eyes lost their colour –

It didn't matter. Because they couldn't change anything.

"_Sora…Don't…Don't move," Riku whispered, panting, struggling as his hands start to tug at Sora's buckle, as his mouth nips warningly at the smaller boy's collarbone. _

Riku had never told him what had happened to him, that first time – when he opened his heart to darkness to get off Destiny Islands. When Sora just wasn't strong enough to take his hand. The first time.

And Sora didn't ask. He had tried, at first, when he realised Riku was having nightmares. When he woke up to find Riku trembling in a corner, eyes wild and hair mussed up as the wind, whimpering whenever the cinnamon-haired boy came near him.

When Riku was the one to wake him up, screaming and fighting his sheets, eyes wide open but sightless, summoning his keyblade to his hand when Sora touched him, tried to wake him.

When Riku, finally, begged him not to ask. Got down on his knees – literally – and _begged_, tears streaming and falling like drops of starlight onto the pale gold sand of the beach. And Sora had pulled him back up, horrified and terrified, promising and swearing never to ask again, whispering that _Ssh, ssh, it's okay…_

_The cool, snake-like slither of the belt as it slipped from the loops on his trousers, the clatter as the buckle clicked on the floor._

All the same, Sora guessed. Guessed it was something to do with Anti-Sora, with Roxas, with the two dark sides of Sora's heart. With the dream-like scars etched into Riku's otherwise flawless body – deep, neat lines on his arms, his back, that only trembled a little from the straight. Purposefully done; painfully done.

Guessed it was something to do with the fact that Riku told him, straight out, that he could never play bottom. Something to do with the wince in his voice as he said it, as he tried to look anywhere but at his smaller boyfriend. Something to do with the fact that, sometimes, when he woke up from the nightmares he was convinced it wasn't Sora – that it was his Anti-self, his dark self. How Riku screamed and cried to be left alone, that he hadn't done anything this time.

Later – crying, begging forgiveness, pressing kisses as light as snowflakes everywhere he could reach – he said that was why he'd done it. That Heartless couldn't feel pain; couldn't feel pleasure.

That he had to be sure.

_His chest, rising and falling quickly as the trousers slide from his legs like a shed skin, a cast-aside layer of protection he's not sure he wants._

Had to be sure it _was_ Sora.

So he gave him both.

_He jerks suddenly, eyes clenched shut as Riku's mouth drags itself down from the intriguing crevices of his collarbone, his throat, moving in an ever-narrowing spiral around Sora's right nipple, tongue trailing teasingly on his trembling skin as he pants, as Riku's left hand moves unerringly to pin Sora's wrists above his head, pressed hard against the clean, lavender-scented pillowcase. _

_He cries out as, abruptly, suddenly, Riku's right hand reaches up, trailing his razor-like nails on his chest, making him shiver, in fear-spiked anticipation, before he twists Sora's left nipple sharply, painfully hard, taking the other in his mouth as Sora arches up off the bed in pain._

_Pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the one in his mouth, nipping whisper-gently with his teeth, the hand not pinning Sora's jerks, and Sora cries out, throwing his head back as a trickle of blood appears like magic on his skin, sliding warm and wet down the side of his chest – another dot of dried-blood brown in the morning._

_He can't stand it – the pain and the pleasure, twining together like lovers inside of him, a mixture that's as intoxicating as it's unbearable, as addictive as it is wrong. As Riku moves to lick at the blood, almost apologetically, his hand going down to brush the hem of Sora's boxers, fingertips like glowing brands on his skin, teasing until he thrashes in his lover's grip, growing desperate._

His parents had tried to interfere, when they found out. It had gotten nasty for a while, when someone reported that Sora had a lot of fresh bruises and cuts when he got changed for PE. The school had been looking into his parents, but it was quickly – almost instantly – obvious that it wasn't them, would never be them.

It had been his mother that had suggested Riku, with a dubious frown, a questioning, disbelieving frown even as she thought of it. Both sets of parents knew of their relationship, and both hadn't believed for a moment that Riku would ever do something to hurt Sora. The older boy had almost been suspended from school when some bastard started giving his boyfriend trouble when they went public – tripping Sora in the hallways, stealing his homework, breaking into his locker; even trying to 'get him' on his way back from school.

Not that he couldn't handle it. He wasn't a Keyblade Master for nothing.

But that wasn't the point. The _point_ was that there had been two broken arms, a twisted ankle, five knocked-out teeth, and at least fifty bruises shared out like sweets among the three would-be attackers – all without Riku getting a scratch.

Well. Almost. One of them managed to chuck a stone and cut his cheek. But that was it.

So no one thought Riku would hurt Sora. Ever.

Except that he _did_. And that Sora stood up for him. Shouting that it wasn't his fault, and that it didn't matter anyway, because – glancing over his shoulder at the pale-faced, star-haired boy – because he _loved _Riku, and he'd rather have a few bruises than not have the love of his life _in his life_.

But parents don't listen. They never do – they can't. It's not really even their fault – they try as hard as they can, but they're just not built that way.

And when the police came, sirens flashing like danger and shining like tears outside the door, to take Riku away, make sure _he'll never hurt you again, Sora, we promise _– Sora screamed, kicking and thrashing in his father's grip, his mother's arms as they dragged Riku, blank-eyed, out the door, begging his lover to _fight back, Riku, fight them! Don't – don't go, Riku! Don't leave me again! _

And when the door locked, and the tears were done – when he pretended to be okay, pretended to go to bed and go to sleep, even with all the memories of the two of them on his bed, the memories and dreams and half-nurtured wishes choking him – when they'd peered in, faces black against the light from the hallway, and crept quietly to their own sleep, content and proud of their part in ripping Sora's heart into tiny shreds –

Then Sora was out of bed and at the window in moments, throwing the window back without hesitation, not caring that he made too much noise. Not listening, ignoring the cries of his name as he slipped out the window and down the wall, dropping the last few feet and running across his mother's prized flower-beds, Oblivion shining like a black star in the moonlight.

Kairi's face, startled and pale as she opened _her_ window, knowing almost before he'd spoken, so that she climbed down and joined him in a handful of minutes, a rucksack slung over her shoulder as she carefully picked her way down the drainpipe – _I thought this would happen eventually, Sora_, she told him as they raced down the street, Heart's Hope glowing like a jewel in the dark, the two keyblades remembering each other with a vibrating thrum. _We changed too much after…Well, after everything. It was never going to work, no matter how much we wanted it to. We're not right for Destiny Islands any more._

She'd looked at him, pulling to a stop on the corner after her house, watching him for a moment. _We're leaving after this, aren't we?_

_I am,_ Sora had said, quietly, meeting her eyes fairly. _If Riku will leave with me, then yeah, I'm not staying. _Oblivion swirled in his hand, contemplatively. _I don't need this place any more, Kairi. It'll always be home, I guess – but not…Not the way it was. _He looked up from the black and silver of the sword. _My home's wherever Riku is, now. Riku and you. You're all I need._

She nodded, slowly. _Okay. I'd better come with you, anyway – you'll need a place to stay, and I'm sure Hayner won't mind a few extra guests…_

_Hayner? _He teased gently, trying to distract himself as they made their way through town, avoiding the main street. _Is _that_ the name of this guy you've been dating?_

She blushed, and he laughed quietly, both of them quickly silent as they found the police station, knowing what – who – was inside.

Knowing this was the end of their so-called 'real' lives.

Heart's Hope and Oblivion remembered how to work together, the twin beams of fruit-pink and silver light reminding Sora of a Christmas decoration as the magic did its work, opening doors and clicking locks, turning keys…

Riku was awake when they found his cell, Kairi standing guard in the hallway in case someone came. The keyblade's magic must have called to his shattered soul, gently tugging him out of sleep so that his aquamarine eyes, tear-glittered, could meet Sora's when the bars slid back.

_The caress of the suddenly coarse cloth, the boxers slipping down to pool around his ankles, quickly ripped away and tossed into the whispering shadows. Sora gasping, arching as Riku's hand curled gently around his throbbing heat, callused thumb rubbing gently over the head, sparks of pleasure radiating out in a net that he can't escape from, that he doesn't want to._

_It's so bright, so light, that he doesn't see the shadows coming closer, closer than they ever have before, because Riku is ravaging his throat, his blood running down over his neck, pooling in the hollow of his throat before it overflows, catching the light from the street-lamp outside before it overflows, trickling like a morbid stream into the dark, and it _hurts_, it's _sore_ but he doesn't care, doesn't care because this is his proof to Riku. _

_His proof that he's real. _

Sora vanished Oblivion in an instant, as he threw himself into Riku's opening arms, opening like a flower to the sun, unable not to laugh, just as if they were back in the secret place, with the chalk drawings smiling their memories back at them. He nuzzled into Riku's neck, inhaling the smell of safety as Riku buried his tear-stained face in the cinnamon hair, as if he has to prove that this isn't a dream.

_Suddenly, something brushes against his entrance, and he jerks, his eyes flying open, because this is further than they've gone before, and he isn't really sure…_

_But one look at Riku's face, and he relaxes, understanding. Riku was never in control with Anti-Sora, with the Heartless, with any of the demons Ansem used to tear him apart. And even if it never goes away – if the shadow in his angel-bright eyes never leaves, if the wound never heals completely – _

They're out of the station in moments, Oblivion rejoining the group with Way to Dawn, the angel's wing a bright beacon of their future together. Sora's hand entwined with Riku's, fingers pale and paler in the night-light, Kairi smiling beside them, humming a light-hearted song under her breath, in keeping with her keyblade's name.

Heart's hope.

They don't stay much longer. Kairi has her rucksack, pink and white still as girly and as bright in the dark of the back-alleys, and she doesn't need – or want – to go back to her house. They stop at Sora's house for a few minutes, just enough time for Kairi to almost run up the wall to his window, a hundred times more quiet than he has ever done it, Riku refusing to let go of his lover's hand.

Enough time for their friend to grab up anything Sora might want – clothes, a photo album, the stash of munny he'd made from saving the worlds – his secret jewellery box of lucky charms, his teddy-bear – his favourite shirt – his crown pendant –

A quick trip to let Riku, this time allowing Sora the freedom of his hand – albeit only for a minute – climb into his room, stuff a bag full of clothes and munny, the remains of his potions from all those months ago, a couple of books -

And when they were all together again, standing with linked hands in the pool of golden light, beneath the street-lamp on the corner of Riku's street –

They smiled, all together.

As one, they let their hands fall, their palms quickly filled with the weight of their blades. No longer weighted with secrets, with pretending. A comforting weight, in each of their hands.

Champagne-pink light. Silver. Blood-love red.

A braid of light, flashing like a shooting star as it exploded without sound into a glowing doorway, an archway of white marble, twined with silver vines that bore roses like ruby and roses like pink sapphires. Glowing so brightly they couldn't see what lay beyond it.

_It doesn't matter. Because Sora is Light, and he can turn Riku's Dark into Twilight, into Dawn._

But it didn't matter. Whether it took them to Kairi's Hayner; to Cloud and Leon, so far away – whether it took them to King Mickey's palace –

_The shadows gently enter him as Riku presses a feather-light kiss to his mouth, and Sora doesn't understand. He's expecting blood, and pain, and warm forgiveness when Riku cries later._

_Not soft…Hot…Warm…_

_It hurts, but not as much as he thought it would. It's like being caressed with freshly-ironed velvet, warm and hot and…and he can't think straight, his eyes squeezing shut, his legs spreading unconsciously as he pants, thrashes, tries to get _more_, because the burning friction feels _so good_…_

Wherever it takes them, it'll be the right place.

_And as Riku slides inside him, kissing him like chocolate, like starlight – like _Dawn_ – Sora knows this is what they needed. _

_Knows it as Riku moves inside him, making him mewl as he arches, breath coming fast and hard, as Riku brushes a star inside him, making him see rainbow-coloured sparks – _

Your heart can never lead you wrong.

_Knows it as Riku kisses him again; gently, tender, loving. As if he was sure; as if he wasn't scared any more._

_As if he knew it wasn't a dream anymore. _

_As if he knew that it was real._

And when the hearts with you are your best friend and your lover?

_As if everything was going to be okay._

Then wherever you go, you'll have everything you ever needed; everything you ever wanted.

_Sora kissed Riku back, as Riku's hands, shaking a little, gently let go._

_Scared, but determined, Riku lowered his hands to Sora's hips, caressing gently. _

_Sora's hands wound about Riku's neck, whispering "I love you, Riku,"_ _into the other's neck as the star flashes inside him again._

Smiling, Sora took Riku's hand again, vanishing Oblivion to take Kairi's as well.

"_I…I love you too, Sora," Riku whispers, smiling. "I really, really do."_

"All together?" Riku asked, quietly, looking down a little at the other two, smiling softly.

Kairi nodded, and Sora grinned. "All together," he echoed.

As one, they stepped through the doorway.

_Everything was going to be all right._

* * *

I couldn't find the name for Kairi's keyblade, so I called it Heart's Hope. It suited her. :)


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